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Parents and guardians can face tough financial choices year-round, but buying Christmas presents on a budget can be especially tricky for those who’ve separated.
Last year, more than half (52%) of parents were concerned about how they would afford Christmas, according to data from the Financial Conduct Authority (FCA).
For co-parents, blended family obligations and the pressure to keep everyone happy add further financial strain, but these five strategies could help avoid a financial nightmare before Christmas.
1. DO make a budget
Divorce or separation sometimes necessitates a radical rethink of your approach to money, particularly if you’ve been used to living off two salaries and now have to manage with one.
“Some people find themselves in quite a tricky situation because they’re not financially independent,” says Leanne Bower, a divorce and separation coach who runs The Divorce Butterfly alongside her job as a teacher.
If you’re new to budgeting, start by looking at your essential outgoings (including rent or mortgage payments, energy bills, food and fuel) and subtract them from your income. Knowing how your essential costs add up, you can choose how to spend what’s left. Writing a list of Christmas presents to buy and setting a budget for each can help you stay within your financial limits.
Tip: Pausing regular monthly commitments, such as TV streaming subscriptions or gym memberships, could free up money for Christmas.
2. DON’T borrow more than you can afford
Two-thirds (64%) of parents felt pressured to spend above their means last Christmas, according to the FCA, with 29% borrowing to cover the cost.
Ammanda Major, Clinical Quality Director at the counselling charity Relate, says that co-parents, particularly those with blended families, can often feel “immense” financial pressure at Christmas.
“They’re trying to please lots of people, possibly with very little money, sometimes no money at all, and yet, everyone wants something from them,” Major explains.
Short-term borrowing can be an effective way to spread the cost of Christmas, provided your income is sufficient to make the repayments. But buying gifts and treats on credit cards, buy-now-pay-later, or an overdraft can create more financial pain if you can’t clear the balance.
Thinking ahead is key. For example, consider the impact Christmas debts could have on your ability to afford school uniforms and birthday presents in the year ahead.
If you’re struggling with debt, seek help from Citizens Advice or StepChange. “These organisations are not judging you, they’re not blaming you, they’re just trying to help,” says Major.
Tip: Before using credit for Christmas presents, review your existing borrowing.
Check the fees on your overdraft and the interest rates on your credit cards and consider whether a 0% purchase card would buy you enough time to save up the money you need. If you’re planning to transfer the balance to a new card, check the interest-free period and consider how you’ll put aside the money to pay it off.
3. DON’T fall into emotional overspending
Financial decisions can be difficult for parents still processing complex emotions about their split. But, overspending in response to feelings of anger or insecurity won’t help.
“Buying more things won’t take your guilt away and it won’t change anything for the children,” says Bower. “If they’re impacted by your separation, three more presents won’t take that away.”
If heightened emotions make it harder to stick to a budget, you might benefit from counselling. “Asking for help is not a shameful thing. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it just means you need some help, as everybody does as they go through their lives,” says Major. As well as providing counselling, Relate signposts parents to mediation services to work through the financial aspects of their separation.
Tip: Pause before every purchase and ask yourself:
- Is this Christmas present on my shopping list?
- Does it fall within my budget?
- Does the quality make it worth the money?
- Could I find the same, or similar gift elsewhere for less?
4. DON’T try to compete
A disparity between income (where one parent earns significantly more than the other) can create Christmas stress if there’s an expectation to spend a similar amount on the children.
“One parent might be able to pay for the Santa Train and pantomimes and another parent’s not in that position to do so. That can be incredibly hard,” says Bower.
As difficult as it might be, separation or divorce can create an opportunity to establish new Christmas traditions which fit your current financial circumstances.
Bower recommends shopping second-hand for Christmas presents, having bought her children refurbished game consoles when new ones were outside of her budget.
“If your child really wants it, they don’t care that it’s not brand new… One of them wanted a PlayStation, one of them wanted an Xbox, so that was the route I had to go down.”
Tip: Search for pre-loved clothes and toys on sites like Vinted, Depop and eBay for a fraction of their original price.
For gaming equipment, websites such as musicMagpie and Own4Less can offer a wide range of refurbished options or leasing from websites such as iOutlet and Fat Llama may provide an affordable alternative.
5. DO start a conversation
Many couples find it difficult to have open conversations about finances when they’re together, let alone after separating. But talking about Christmas costs now can help ensure children’s needs are met and make it easier to plan big purchases.
Even if sharing costs with your ex is not an option, knowing this sooner rather than later can give you more time to prepare – financially and emotionally – for a Christmas that fits your budget.
Start with a clear setting of intentions. “Make it very clear to begin with, that you want a conversation around the best interests of the children,” says Bower.
A total of 59% of separated families have a child maintenance arrangement to cover living costs, but there’s no obligation to pay for Christmas presents. If you’re struggling financially and think you are entitled to more child support than you currently receive, you can contact the Child Maintenance Service and ask them to review your arrangement.
Tip: Use the government’s benefits calculator to check whether you’re entitled to additional financial support and ensure you’re accessing the childcare funding you’re eligible for.
Major acknowledges that starting a dialogue about money, and anything else involving the children at Christmas, often means “putting your own misery and upset with an ex-partner to one side” to focus on the needs of the children. “If you can do that, you will have done a great job.”
Image source: Getty Images
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